Expectations are an interesting paradox. It is a very healthy thing to determine expectations about ourselves. However, when we create expectations about others, we must be careful not to violate biblical wisdom and personal boundaries.
Expectations in our closest relationships are usually based on our paradigms of friendship, marriage, church, loyalty, or etc. A paradigm is a view, concept, or model of how things should be. We all think we know how things should be. We even think others share our same paradigm, but that is rarely, if ever, true. Most of our disappointment and frustration happens when someone is living their life plan, or fulfilling their concept of friendship, or being what they think is a good spouse, instead of the one we have imposed on them. They may be doing nothing wrong; they’re just not doing what we think it is right!
These personal paradigms can be incredibly destructive in our relations, but when we create paradigms about God that are inconsistent with His intentions, it is devastating. We feel that He is abandoning us or not answering our prayers. We can never see God as He is, or realize the manifestation of His glory in our lives as long as we cling to ideas that are not actually rooted in the revelation He has provided of Himself.
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