I’ve heard this said more times than you can imagine, but in every single case I’ve worked with, when asked how they defined love it wasn’t based on Scripture. Love has to meet three criteria: does what I’m doing and the way I’m doing it make me have greater value (love) for God, for others and for myself? Love doesn’t mean you become a doormat!
If we value God we value His Word; therefore, we’ll never violate the Word to give in to the demands or expectations of others. Likewise, we’ll never do for others anything that violates our relationship with God.
When we have value for others we will do what’s hard because it’s for their good. In other words, we won’t be a codependent enabler and call it love. We will encourage and help others but we’ll never do for them what they could and should do for themselves.
When we have value for ourselves we’ll never violate our own sense of self-respect. Paul warns us to be careful in the things we give ourselves permission to do. If it violates our conscience it will minimize our self-worth. When our conscience is violated we lose confidence before God and cannot receive what we pray for.
Defining love through humanistic philosophies is the reason our world has become more codependent, violent and unstable. As a substance abuse counselor I know that codependency is the mother of all addictions. By expressing this counterfeit love we actually become part of the problem. You’ve heard a person will only give up their addiction when they hit bottom! Hitting bottom has little to do with how hard things have gotten; hitting bottom is when there is no one left to enable us.
Help yourself and others. CLICK HERE to join me this week and learn to express love God’s way as we study, Light Reveals Love!